A little more than eight years ago, I started dating a great guy … and we lived happily ever after.
But that’s not where the story ends – or begins.
Reading the story of how a big-city girl became the Pioneer Woman got me inspired to write my own saga of how Lois Lane became a not-so-Desperate Housewife. Besides, it will give Collin something to read someday and think, “Wow … my parents are really … lame.”
Furthermore, this serves as a perfect test to see whether my dear husband actually reads my blog. Since he isn’t around to, uh, dispute anything I write, I guess I can say whatever I want and paint myself to be the hero/victim/damsel in distress.
No, no. I’m going to tell it like it is – the good, the bad, (the drunk) and the ugly.
So here we go …
This perfectly imperfect love story starts in the fall of 1996 in the hallowed classrooms of Clover Park High School. I was madly in love with Dean Cain. Chris was madly in love with the Seattle Sonics. He had black Nike shoes and I was a size four. Simpler times and all.
My desire to be Lois Lane started at age 12 and only intensified when I bet out several ninth-graders to be named editor of my junior-high newspaper, The Arrow. Ah, power. I had every intention of making my rein two terms when the school district announced that the high schools were going to become four-year institutions the following year. In short, the eighth-graders were getting screwed. We’d never get to rule the school. We were about to be lowly freshmen -- the scum in the pond of high school. I was horrified.
And then I saw the course catalog – and once again, all was right with the world. Under the English header were 10 beautiful letters:
J-o-u-r-n-a-l-i-s-m.
But following the description was a proverbial bitch-slap: grades 11-12; those in grade 10 must have instructor approval.
Wait, where was grade nine?!
Well, anyone who knows anything about Lois Lane knows that she never gives up – and I wasn’t going down without a fight. I got letters of recommendation from The Arrow’s advisor and another teacher and submitted them with my course-schedule form – a form that had Journalism 1 written down as my top elective. French was bien and all, but it just couldn’t compete.
I ended up lucking out – being in the gifted program in seventh and eighth grade exempted me from taking the mandatory-for-ninth-graders Pacific Northwest History, and I suddenly had room for an extra class.
And that is how I became the first freshman in school history to be on the “esteemed” staff of the Clover Leaves.
But don’t let the bravado fool you – I was scared to death. So much that I didn’t say a word the first few days of class aside from introducing myself when we went around the room. Yes, it’s true – there was a time when I was virtually silent. I figured if I kept my head down, no one would know I was *the* freshman.
What happened next should have been a dead giveaway: Late in the first week, I asked the guy next to me to borrow a pencil so I could get ahead on my math homework during our free time in class.
I’m sure he had no idea that eight years after the pencil would come a marriage proposal. I certainly didn’t.
After all, as the first quarter progressed, I developed crushes on several of the upperclassmen in the class – Jon, Jeremy, Jesse and Jeff, to be specific. Most important was Jesse, who was the editor, a senior and (sporadic acne aside) the closest thing to Clark Kent in Room 212. Note that nowhere on that list was Chris.
Sure, he was cute – and had a cache of freshly sharpened No. 2 pencils – but oh. my. god. All Chris talked about was sports – and the only sport I was interested in was marathon shopping. And even though my love affair with Nordstrom was more of a developing attraction back then, I had no doubt that a wardrobe that consisted entirely of Sonics, Seahawks and Mariners shirts (and black Nike sneakers; gag) was just. not. acceptable.
Shallow much? Of course – I was 14. What do you expect?
But here’s the thing – unlike 98 percent of the kids in our class (including the guy who thought journalism meant writing in journals every day), Chris actually wanted to be a journalist. To him, sixth period wasn’t just the hour before school was out. He took it as seriously as I did.
Hmm. Lois didn’t like Clark at first, either.
And then there was the fact that Chris was nice. Really nice. Most of the upperclassmen on the staff were hellbent on putting me in my place, and the fact that I could write circles around the vast majority of them didn't go over too well. But he didn't seem threatened -- if anything, he appeared to be impressed.
Enter February – and Tolo, the annual dance where girls invite boys (often leading to awkwardness and drama).
And to everyone’s surprise, my top choice for a date didn’t start with a J.
It started with a C.
To be continued . . .
