Life's a beach ...

So, today is supposed to be Thrifty Thursday, but hey, it's my blog, so it's going to be Theraputic Thursday instead, and tomorrow will be Frugal Friday. Hey, come to think of it, that's catchier, too. Anyway, this day of my month of blogs will focus on my strengths and weaknesses, both emotionally and physically. Sure, my blog in general does that, but this is more about the mind-body connection and maintaining the fabulousness that is me. ;)

Today marked a milestone -- I have lost 20 pounds. And it wasn't an easy road. Not whatsoever.

Have I ever mentioned that I still have my prom dress from the cruise to hell? That when I danced with and got dumped by/dumped Chris on the Sea of Love, I was a size six? And have I ever mentioned that the damn dress is in a box in the bottom of our guest-room closet? Bottom line: It pisses me off, and I don't want to see it.

But here's the thing: I did this to myself. I ate cheesecake, I didn't exercise, I ordered pasta and a snack was a good idea at 1 a.m. Some of the circumstances surrounding my weight loss and gain were out of my control, i.e. my miscarriage, but largely, it was my choice to not take advantage of when I wasn't sitting at a desk for eight hours a day. It was raining, it was cold, I was tired ... I had every excuse to not get up and move.

It wasn't always this way, though. Tired of carrying around four years of dining-hall food, almond chicken and calzones, I went on the South Beach Diet in 2006 and lost 41 pounds for my wedding. When I started, I didn't know if I'd be able to pull it off --I almost cried one night when my friend at work had rice with her dinner and I was eating yet.another.salad. -- but I'm the kind of person that benefits from a little incentive. It's not too surprising given my career choice -- journalism, especially copy editing, gives you instant gratification. Most people don't see the outcome of their day of hard work on their doorstep the next morning.

So back in January 2006, shortly before beginning my carb purge, I ordered my wedding dress. Two sizes too small.

Now if that isn't reason to get off the couch, I don't know what is.

And it worked. I ran. I ate brown rice. I traded the caramel macciatto lattes that I loved for sugar-free vanilla ones that I learned to tolerate. And on June 24, 2006, I rocked my strapless satin white dress. On June 26, I had pizza for dinner.

And herein lies the problem with the South Beach Diet. If you don't maintain the low-carb lifestyle, you immediately start to gain the weight back. If you stop exercising, you're in trouble. And if you can't get pregnant and start eating pie, you're doomed.

But if you're willing to put in the effort -- and treat it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet -- South Beach works.

I only gained 16 pounds during my pregnancy, so losing the baby weight wasn't too hard considering that Collin counted for 7.13 pounds of it. But then I plateaued. I had so many breastfeeding issues that I wasn't burning enough calories and shedding pounds like some of my friends. Skinny bitches.

Just kidding.

Well, kind of.

It wasn't until my gallbladder was removed at the end of May and I was forced to immediately stop nursing that I got on the road toward being a fitter, healthier me. I lost several pounds in the aftermath of a week of bland food (soup and jello), and the pain stifled my appetite, anyway. When I got onto the scale at my post-op appointment, there was enough disparity betwen the number I saw and the one when I was weighed at Urgent Care that fateful morning that it got me fired up to continue the decline.

After all, Collin is only getting more active. I need to be able to keep up with him, and sitting on the couch isn't doing anything except wearing out the cushions.

So, once I was healed, I got out the Wii Fit I had bought a couple months earlier. Over time, I came to look forward to the time of day when my Mii would snowboard, ride a Segway, hula-hoop and throw snowballs. (I admit that I created a Chris circa '96 Mii and get some form of perverse pleasure from pelting him.) I am extremely happy to have gotten up to an hour of working out; a mix of cardio, balance work and yoga (I rock The Tree, just for the record) and, most importantly, I have been running. We own a treadmill, but I hated using it. I have always hated running. HATED it. But with the Wii, it's so much easier. I especially enjoy watching terrible reality shows while doing the free run.

And then in August, I signed up for Trash the Dress, a photo shoot led by two of my wonderful photographer friends that required me to get back into my wedding dress. It didn't ocurr to me until after I had committed to the project that there was no way in hell that I was into anything related to that dress other than the garment bag. The Wii Fit alone wasn't going to cut it.

It was time for the big guns -- I was going back on South Beach.

And this time, I had a new set of challenges. I didn't cook as much back in 2006 (i.e. had yet to master the art of alfredo sauce and truffles) and I didn't have a toddler who grazes rather than eats on most days. It was way too easy to partake in a handful of his crackers or the other half his sandwich. He wasn't on the diet, of course, but both Chris and I were, so we had to make meals that could me modified for Collin (and try to not cry as he ate rice with his Indian food and we sat there with our sad little plates of tandori chicken).

For two weeks, I turned to my old staples, cooking Baja bowls (essentially shell-less burritos) and lots of chicken and vegetables. I created new salads and chowed down on veggie sausage patties with sugar-free syrup for breakfast. (They really aren't as gross as they sound, and besides, I don't eat eggs, which is the No. 1 suggestion for breakfasts during Phase 1.) And we gorged ourselves on sugar-free fudgecicles.

At the end of Phase 1, I was down several pounds, but I knew that I had to be disciplined as I entered Phase 2 and reintroduced good carbs such as brown rice, whole-wheat pastas, some fruits and whole-grain breads. Emphasis on good. No juice, no chips, no pie. But it's been a very worthwhile lifestyle change for our whole family. Collin eats spaghetti with whole-wheat noodles just as readily as he did with semolina ones. He likes sugar-free jello, and he was already eating organic wheat bread. We have cut out a lot of the unnecessary sugars and carbs and added more vegetables and good grains.

And between that and the Wii Fit, I am down 20 pounds -- and I did it on my own. I didn't take diet pills, roll myself in saran wrap or do any form of cleanse. I don't believe in quick fixes that don't work in the long run. I did what I do in all aspects of my life -- I worked for it. I didn't cheat.

Actually, that's not true. I do occasionally have a sliver of chocolate torte that Chris brought home from work, or sushi on my birthday, or a glass of wine while out to dinner with a friend. And I'm sure I'll be tempted by cheesecake sooner or later. But there's nothing wrong with that. I love food too much to become robotic about it, to suck the joy out of eating or cooking.

I'm OK with this being a long-term process. I want to do it right. I want it to last. And just like last time, I want to look great on a beach in Hawaii. I have set the goal of being down 55 pounds from my starting point by the time I board a plane to Maui in March. There. It's in writing. And I feel that I can really get to that point if I keep at it -- and be have some self-control when egg-nog season comes rolling around.

And as for an incentive?

Well, uh, there are these really gorgeous (read: ridiculously expensive) leather boots I saw at Nordstrom the other day. They'd look good with skinny jeans.

And they'd look even better on skinny Jenn.